Yes, it's that glorious time of year again I celebrate my slow ignominious crawl towards senility, dementia, dentures, the dreaded winter fuel bill and the grave.
But I for one won't be celebrating.
(I hear sighs of disbelief)
Well, why should I celebrate another milestone towards certain death?
An anal, toad-picking, moany-pants bore.
Oh, go on then:
'Happy B'day to Me
Happy B'day to Me
Happy B'day to Meee
Happy B'day tooooo Me'
(clapping and whooping)
All right, that's quite enough of that.
P.S: Horse and Hound ale house tonight if anybody would like to join us.
