Coming soon...Wedding - The Pics

A choice selection of juicy dodgy snaps from the night of purple drinks and tummy bugs.

Be afraid...

...Very afraid. Hooooo-hahahahahahaaaaaaaaa! (evil laugh)

Asian Wedding - A Review!

So...I went!

I decided to go as I thought it would be an interesting experience for me - to attend an Asian wedding, and immerse myself in the subtle nuances and fine granulations of Asian culture. I always feel like a fish out of water at these things!

So there I found myself in a large banqueting hall, seated on round tables, sipping orange juice - whilst around me the show went on in all its pomp and splendour. Now that I think about it, the hall resembled a converted cinema. The entrance and initial hall area was higher then the stage. The stage was decorated in the usual refinements and a long white couch where the bride and groom would eventually sit and have their pictures taken with the various guests. I was seated on the table right at the end of the first section so that I was looking down on the tables in the second section. Now that I have described the hall I will now describe my thoughts. Many thoughts competed for space in my head as I attempted to make sense of the whole thing. Thoughts such as:

A large % of the people here are close genetic relations of mine. We share a common origin - yet look how wide the river bank of our differences now is. We are now like two people that began a journey together but have drifted to opposite banks of the river. The two of us are now mere pin-pricks in the distance - shouting and waving a language at each other - a language that we no longer share.

Can people who started off on the same road together become so different as the journey progresses? How is that possible?

It is possible because we are buffeted by different winds. Imagine two sail boats in the vast ocean of life. Now imagine two trade winds that blow differently. One trade wind the 'zephyr' blows hard and to the south west. The other trade wind called 'leper' blows to the north west but also occasionally blow eastwards. These two winds act on one boat and one boat only such that after a year, 2 years, 5 years - the boats will wildly differ in their position on the ocean of life. People are like that too and the winds that affect us are myriad in nature. They have names like: education, friends, books, movies, music, genes, influences, chance, necessity, darkness, light, belief etc.

So as I sit there in the banqueting hall surrounded by bangra music blaring through the speakers and an army of faces I have not seen for a while - it seems to me, that these people haven't changed at all. Or maybe they have changed and It is I that has remained still? It is a thought that bothers me all evening. Who is it that has done the moving apart? Me or them? I think it is the former, it is I, who has moved away, and they have remained stationary. I am struck by this thought and as I look into the face of the man sitting next to me - a face I recognise - I notice that he has grown greyer since I last saw him, his skin has lost some of its elasticity, his eyes have dimmed in their sparkle, his body has thinned - and the suit that used to fit him so well - the same suit - now fits him awkwardly - as though it is no longer his.

Sadness - sadness...is the underlying feeling and theme of my thoughts. I am attacked by sadness - the sadness of a past we can no longer reclaim - that what is lost. But I also feel another sadness - a sadness more profound but I struggle to pinpoint its source. Why am I feeling sad? Because I realise, in an excruciating moment of crystal clarity, that I no longer care. I couldn't give a damn anymore. This is no longer a life I recognise and these people, though we share a common origin - are strangers - albeit strangers with recognisable faces. I know this man. I have seen him countless times. He is a relation of mine. But this is all that binds us - blood and kinship. Who is he really? Beyond the face that I recognise from childhood - who is this man? And suddenly, in a moment of electric shock; as I stare at him harder, his face melts away, and I no longer recognise the face either. He is now nothing.

The other thing that strikes me is the contrast in the hall between what the children experience and what the adults see. For the children it is magical - the beautifully laid out tables, the red napkins, the purple lights, the little goody bags full of sweets, the endless glasses of orange juice and purple drink. For the children who sit around a single table - as their parents sit on another table - for the children this is great! Here they are and they can make as much noise as they want! Nobody will say shhhhush! They can sit on their own around the table - with endless bottles of soft drinks - and then be served food by an army of waiters. These are children who very rarely go to restaurants - and here they are - being served food. Chicken, fish, rice, bread, and desserts. They're having fun - they can run around - chase balloons - play hide and seek in the endless caverns. They can go under tables and play home. They can move around the vast spaces of the hall - far away from their parents - and do what they want! What a great thing it must be for a child to be at such a wedding! I catch myself wishing I was one of them - how fuller - more colourful - more romantic - more sublime - more magical - the wedding would then be!


For the adults its all another world. A world of petty rivalry and upmanship. There is little magic but only something to complain about. For adults its about pretending to be nice to people that you must say hello to because - by some unfathomable quirk of genetics - you find yourself related to them! Call me cynical but the fact is that this is a 'family' wedding and the vast majority of the people here are kin - i.e. family relations. How many people in  our family do we honestly get on and have something in common with? Who are the people that you are related to, that when you see them, your eyes light up and your mouth widens in genuine affection and genuine 'looking forward to meeting'? Not many! Now imagine, putting all these people together...in a hall! The only reason there is no blood bath is because there are only together for 4 hours and the music drowns out most of what they say anyway!


For me it was similar. One idiot (wearing a baseball cap - who wears a baseball cap at a wedding anyway?!) accosted me and said "I've been watching you for an hour and you never came up to say hello to me". I looked at him startled and replied "Well I was busy taking photos". To which he mumbled something inscrutable and trudged off - I still have no idea who he was! Such encounters I suppose are expected!

I meet the parents of the bride and they are both happy to see me and I congratulate them on the wedding. As the party continues and the bride walks in to a round of applause - and as we are treated to whole host of sounds and tastes, I find myself going into David Attenbrough documentary mode - and pretending that I am a wildlife documentary maker in the African bush - who has just chanced upon an elaborate mating ritual!

And it does feel like an elaborate mating ritual. The groom arrives fully attired on a horse with a sword in his hand surrounded by 6 burly men all singing and dancing. They then stroll into the hall - the groom making gestures with his sword - until they reach the main stage, and then they stand on the steps of the stage - the groom waving his sword about like a phallus, and his entourage of men growling in deep voices what can only be some sort of male mating song! - This is male machismo at its prime. I am a man, and I have a sword, and with this, I deflower thee...I'm not going to go into the anthropological significance of the sword, but it is clear that male birds of paradise have fantastically bright feathers and plumage, precisely because they want to attract the best females. In fact there is a bird in Papa New Guinea that performs an elaborate 'dance' - in which it spreads its feathers to reveal the bright colours inside when it wants to attract and impress a female. We are also part of the animal kingdom and we too have our rituals!

It's all a game.

In the end its all a game - the greatest show on earth...

...life!


And what advice would I give the married couple? If they had forced me to sit on the stage with them what would I have said? How would the conversation have gone? Well let me invent a fictional conversation for your pleasure!


[wasim]  "Hello"
[married couple - MC]  "Who are you?'
[wasim]  "I'm Wasim"
[MC]  "Do we know you?"
[wasim]  "Well you should. Apparently were related" at which point the bride looks at me more carefully and says  "are you sure?"
[wasim]  "yes, we are. Anyway since I am here lets talk about something. Lets talk about marriage!"
[MC]  "OK. Go on then"
[wasim]  "marriage...Mmm....what an intriguing idea....Mmm...a ritual of great interest to scientists..." at which point I am interrupted by the groom and bride
[MC]  "are you a scientist or something?"
[wasim]  "nope, not a scientist, but I am a philosopher of sorts...look let me give you some advice on marriage - yeah?"
[MC]  "yeah please!"
[wasim]  "enjoy the party today guys...it's all down hill from here!!"




I know. I know. I am so horrible. How horrible and mean spirited of me. But then this conversation never actually happened - so sue me scumbags!

To go or not to go....that is the question

It's 12:06am and I've just returned home from a lovely meal in the South African Fish Market...I had 6 Oysters for starters - 4 with lemon juice and 2 with Tabasco chili source. The oysters were huge, cold, and tasted like sea water. They were delicious. For mains it was sea bass cooked in lemon sauce. For dessert I had Creme Brulee - and for drinks - a whole bottle of red wine! Cabernet Sauvignon I believe It was...anyway...I have just got home, am lying in bed with the laptop on my lap, slightly drunk (but not too much) and I am debating with myself whether I should go to this wedding tomorrow that I have been invited to. The wedding is in Birmingham and it is supposed to be a classy affair. It is my fathers side of the family you see. A family wedding - yes one of those! I don't normally 'do' weddings. I steer clear of them usually. But this one seems to have caught me in its claws.

There is a piece of me that doesn't want to go, because it is afraid that it will be a waste of time and this piece of me would rather spend the time doing something else. There is another piece of me that would like me to go - because it would be a unique experience and something different...

What am I afraid of? People? Well in short yes! I am afraid of ending up on a table full of people I don't know - with no conversation whatsoever, slowly rotting to death of utter boredom. I am afraid of being bored. I am NEVER bored. If I have nothing to do I usually read a book or think...

....maybe I have nothing to worry about. If I get bored I can think - no? Yes - I will be taking my brain along so if I need to use it, I can think! But think of what? Think of how bored I am! What a stupid thing to think about...

If I do go I will be taking along my Fuji X100 camera...so expect some photos - and also expect a detailed blog post on the whole bloody experience. Warts and all. If there is pain at this wedding I will write about it. If there is passion I will write about it also. If there is love you will hear of it first and if there is comedy, I will make sure to make you laugh.

OK, let me sleep on it and in the morning I will decide whether to go or not. I wish somebody would make the decision for me - life would be so much easier. It really would!

To go or not to go....that is the question...ZzzzZZzz...

The art of Life

As I lay supine on desert sand

the happiest creature in this world of Man

I look up and spy the sky

Oh vaulted roof! - My room tonight!

With blinking stars for a canopy

nothing more I need for me

For a bed I have the softest sand

king-size? double? - as vast as this land!

For entertainment: memories like a butterfly

captured in the tide - the tide of life

For a lamp: the full moon held aloft

See! casting a beam, silvery soft

For water I have the stream besides
that ripples, and gurgles. Woe betide,

the traveller - who dreams - all alone

of women, and riches, he'd rather own

...and see's nothing of treasures laid bare

in front, above - Oh! Everywhere!

Speak not of things you do not own

love life
let live

and never moan!

________

How to grow up & other thoughts

i)  Transformers 3

What a miserable day its has been today. LondonTown drenched in showers! The entire day a wash-out - low dark clouds. Perpetual rain. Soggy feet. Umbrellas and raincoats. The golden glow of coffee shops promising warmth, dryness, life-giving coffee and delicious cakes. That's what I did this morning - drank coffee and read and dreamt, and then I went and ruined it by watching the movie 'Transformers 3' in 3D no less! Why? Because I'd read a review somewhere by a respected reviewer (respected by myself - not respected anymore though!), who had said that too many of us take movies far too seriously. That we expect movies to be deep philosophical musings on human existence, and that we should relax a little, take a chill pill, and sometimes shut our brains, and watch a movie purely for the pleasure of it. So that's what I did. I bought a ticket for Transformers 3 - bought some of those disgusting Mexican nacho things with that yellow gooey stuff on them (called cheese?) - queued with some 13 year olds - went in - sat down - shut my brain off - and watched Transformers 3...

...and?

...and I survived.

Just about. By the knuckle of my teeth. The movie is a computer game! It has more explosions then all the world-wars combined. Every explosion was like an attack of intestinal diarrhea as my intestines slowly travelled up and up and up into my throat, until they were knocking on the door of my skull and threatening to stab my brain to death. They agreed not to when I promised them that I would be doing something more 'worthy' of my great intellect after the movie...

The 13 year olds loved the movie though. Well of course they would - duh duh! It's been a few hours now since I watched it and I've totally forgotten what it was about. Seems like my brain has decided to delete / expunge all evidence of this illicit movie act from its memory circuits. Never again. Ever. Never will I be seduced by the promise of orgasmic big explosions and special affects.

ii)  How to grow up / or whether to grow up!

I've been thinking about something today. Or rather, I've continued to think about it today as I've been thinking about it over the last few days. What I've been thinking about is growing up. These are my thoughts on the matter:


As children we have a totally different view of the world. The world is wonderful and fun and interesting. For children the world is a magical fairy-ground ride. The parks are wide open green spaces with an endless blue sky above and  s p a c e  to run around and play football in. The buses are wonderful places from the top-deck from which to look down on the heads of people. The Underground is one big ride. The shops are full of toys and sweets and things we want. McDonald's milkshakes taste yummy. You can never eat enough sweets. The world is full of ghosts. Your neighbour is a witch and eats children and there are lots of mysteries in the world. Father Christmas is a bearded man and we wish grandfather was like him! - Also in childhood emotions are simple: if you hate someone you tell them. You like someone you tell them. Someone is fat so you make fun of them. Someone is ugly and you tell them. You like a girl and you turn red at the cheeks and then buy her a sweet. You hang out with your friends and you speak loudly - you say what you want - behave as you like. You also enjoy simple pleasures. The chicken and chips from the KFC that you bought for £1.99 taste nice and it doesn't matter if they're not good for you. It don't matter if the taste is not 'sophisticated' - it don't matter. You like chicken and chips because they're cheap, they taste nice, and they fill you up! Simple!

Look at the faces of young people. What do you see? Worry lines? No! Worry free looks and bright shining eyes! Healthy minds not yet poisoned...Living in a world that is simple and uncomplicated...

and now...

...compare that life with that of an adult. Look at the adults in McDonalds stuffing their bellies with burgers and fries. Not enjoying them at all! Just filling their hunger as quick as possible! Like putting petrol in a car. You call that living? I don't. Taste is one the most beautiful of senses and pleasures. We should taste our food, saviour it on the tongue, in the mouth, before er, pushing it down the throat!

What else?

The life of adults is complicated. Oh so so complicated! Full of worries. Like a thousand arrows these worries come from all directions. In the bum, through the nose, through the ears. What are these so called 'worries'? Let me tell you: Boredom. Jealousy. Hatred. Anger. Sexual frustration. Money (or lack of). Annoying husbands / wives / relatives / children. Jobs that slowly kill us. And so many more.


Why do these things not bother children?

Let's look at them one by one!

Boredom = children don't get bored. The world is a magical playground. Full of wonder, and witches and demons and goblins and Harry Potter

Jealousy = a child's jealousy is limited to not having a toy that their friend/brother-sister has. It's not the all-consuming jealousy of adults that eats away like a cancer, and besides, a child's jealousy is short lived and eventually disappears

Hatred = children might hate someone but its more of a weak hate and not the cancer-like hate that adults allow to grow inside of them - like a mutant baby!

Anger = a child's anger will be directed at an individual. An adult's anger (is usually) directed at the whole world - but there are exceptions!

Sexual frustration = none. Sex is simply not an important part of a child's life landscape.

Money = as long as they have the basics children are happy.

Husbands/wives/children = none cos they're too young to have any of these!

Jobs = too young to work (lucky sods!)

So here is the question I am begging to ask you: Why the fuck would you want to grow up at all?!


And if you do - why leave ALL childish things behind? Surely, we can pick and choose, and keep some childish things into adulthood?

Is the world as seen from a child's point of view better? More accurate? More real?

Or is the world as seen from an adults point of view better? More accurate? More real?

How do we judge? Who say's what is better? More real? Us! Adults! - how can that be fair or right?


What is to say that a child's life is the best - and that adult life is a disaster!!

Why do we always automatically assume that a child's world is not real? 'Oh grow up!' we scream when someone is being 'childish'.

What I'm really trying to say is that we should keep something of that child inside of us as we grow older. That sense of wonder and adventure for example is a wonderful thing - but we lose it! We fucking grow up and lose it! We should not let family and people make our lives miserable. We should do what we want and not worry too much about consequences - because, in the end, we're all gonna die anyway. We shouldn't think too much of the future - because the future is not real. Only the here-and-now is real.


We chase dreams and illusions all our lives. We are fed lies about what a 'happy life' is all about, and we chase and chase and chase this butterfly - but we can never keep up, because we have endless 'wants' and 'needs'. The stomach of human greed gets bigger and bigger the more it is filled with things. The stomach of human greed has endless capacity! It never says: 'Oh! I think I've had enough!'. The human animal can never have enough. That is what Buddhism and certain Eastern philosophies (and Arthur Schopenhauer) recognised in their teachings. That is why many monks and other wise men throughout history have led ascetic lives. In caves. In the desert. In the jungles. Lives of simplicity. I'm not saying go and live in a cave or the desert! I am not saying that. But keep some of that cave, that desert inside of you - though you might be living in a busy city like London - think yourself like a desert - a cave - and distance yourself - from the poison arrows of adulthood!!

You can never have enough - but you can limit what you expect from life

It goes like this:

'It's not about how much you do want. It's about how much you don't want'

Strip out the crap - the junk - and you'll be much happier. Promise (or your money back!)

Amen!




iii)  The best drinks experience in the world - ever!


When you've gone to bed having eaten a turkish kebab, or something spicy the night before - only to then wake up in the middle of the night with a parched throat feeling very thirsty. You then walk to the kitchen in your pyjamas with your eyes barely open, and you make yourself an ice-cold diet Coke with 7 (yes 7!) ice-cubes and a slice of lemon. You then pour this beautiful ice-cold drink down your throat and watch your thirst disappear...Mmmm...try it! - the best drinks experience in the world (and no hangover to worry about!)

______________

Friday Night Pics - Restaurant Momo

All images taken with the Fuji X100 digital camera. Camera settings used: 35mm fixed lens at aperture f2 and ISO range 1,600 - 3,200. For those that don't know (or have been living on the moon lately!) the Fuji X100 has been a highly sort after camera thanks to its retro cool styling. But there is more to this beauty then just looks. Look beneath the bonnet and you'll find it has brains to match! It features a high quality APS-C sized imaging sensor and a brand new processing engine that allows excellent hand-held low-light street photography - all in a small form factor (size). This is an excellent camera and has a radical hybrid viewfinder, that can be switched between a normal optical viewfinder and an electronic viewfinder with the flick of a switch. It is much lighter and smaller then my Canon 5D Mark II and associated lens combo. It's also a real joy to use. A real pleasure to hold in the hand and play with (ahem)...

And oh yes, that's me smoking a cigarette below - so sue me scumbags!

The Tree Of Life

A paen to birth, life, death, faith, purpose - and the meaning of it all in the grand scheme of the cosmos. Terrence Malick takes us on an epic visual journey from the birth of the universe, the formation of stars, the genesis of life, to contemporary day family life in the 1950's. This entire movie is a visual poem. You will either 'get it' or you'll be perplexed by the whole damn thing. Is this a work of sublime genius? Or is it a bloated piece of pretentious film-making? Is Terrence Malick a genuine visionary or has he got his head stuck up his arse?! Whatever your views, not since Stanley Kubrick's '2001: A space odyssey' have we been served such a rich dish. Recommended - but only if you let it take you by the hand. Don't resist it. Don't expect anything. Let all your expectations of movies fly out the window. Go into the cinema theatre with an open heart and open eyes. There is little dialogue. The affect is curiously subconscious relying on visuals and short pithy voice overs.


I've noticed how the camera is always at waist height - and always facing upwards - with the sky and the sun in almost all outdoor shots. Even indoor shots feature bright windows with sunlight streaming in. The sun is a key part of this movie. The sun is the giver of life. It is the other 'father', the other provider, in addition to Brad Pitts stern patriarch. What does it all mean? I think each person will take something different from it - that being the Director's aim.