The World is my Oyster...

Why is it that I am drawn to places on the edge?
At the edge of the world - I seek to find - something.
What I know not. Perhaps the answer will reveal itself - like a rainbow in a puddle -
only then to disappear just as quickly.
A place to belong - is that what I seek?
A sense of home?
To be able to sigh: 'Yes, I have finally arrived. This is where I belong'
Perhaps I am chasing phantasmas. Chasing rainbows.


Perhaps in my restless and reckless heart, I seek answers - to questions
which have none.


Last night lying in bed I realised in a fit of clarity that my life was meaningless
like a slap in the face it was. Like cold water thrown over me - I realised that nothing mattered - if I die - If I live - what I do - what I don't
it's all in vain - in the end. In the cold dark cosmic mirror between the stars,
you see no reflection and when you ask - you only hear your question.
And in last nights fit of clarity I also realised,
I could do anything...anything I wanted. Nothing matters in the end so why
not make this matter. THIS. This one and only life. This my only chance. This existence.


In the supreme face of cosmic apathy and indifference the best thing
is to stick a big 'V' at nature and scream fuck you!


It makes one feel free. Super free. To be able to say: fuck what the world say's.
I never asked for this. I will do as I want,
and nobody can stop me...


And it's true. Nobody can.


the truth is,


I really am not afraid.


And THAT scares me!


People seek order and 'stability' - when all around them chaos rages like a storm,
tossing their best laid plans to the wind.


And in the end, what do we have to live forward to?


Death.


it will come one day.


And when death comes knocking on my door,
I want to let it in happily. 'Come in death' I want to say. Not
'Keep out! Not now!'


A life lived 'deliberately', is the only life worth living.




Hahahahaha.


Yep, that's me.



I leave you now with a song that is perfect for this.

It's called 'Innuendo'...and it's by my favourite band of all time. The best band in the world! -  Queen.

This really is something special. Read the lyrics. Enjoy.

Lyrics: Innuendo

(One two three four)

While the sun hangs in the sky and the desert has sand
While the waves crash in the sea and meet the land
While there's a wind and the stars and the rainbow
Till the mountains crumble into the plain

Oh yes we'll keep on trying
Tread that fine line
Oh we'll keep on trying yeah
Just passing our time

While we live according to race, colour or creed
While we rule by blind madness and pure greed
Our lives dictated by tradition, superstition, false religion
Through the aeons, and on and on

Oh yes we'll keep on trying
We'll tread that fine line
Oh oh we'll keep on trying
Till the end of time
Till the end of time

Through the sorrow all through our splendour
Don't take offence at my innuendo

You can be anything you want to be
Just turn yourself into anything you think that you could ever be
Be free with your tempo be free be free
Surrender your ego be free be free to yourself

Oooh oooh
If there's a God or any kind of justice under the sky
If there's a point if there's a reason to live or die
If there's an answer to the questions we feel bound to ask
Show yourself - destroy our fears - release your mask

Oh yes we'll keep on trying
Hey tread that fine line
Yeah we'll keep on smiling yeah (yeah yeah)
And whatever will be will be
We'll keep on trying
We'll just keep on trying
Till the end of time
Till the end of time
Till the end of time