A list of the 10 most filthiest things in existence (in no particular order):
1) Toilet handles – a thorough microscopic examination would probably reveal a teeming hive of the most virulent strains of bacteria known to microbiology. Next time you decide to flush, use a surgeons glove.
2) Ear wax – not only is earwax a nasty thing in itself, but due to its absorbent nature and chemical composition (rich in essential oils and carbohydrates), it acts as a gourmet meal for all manner of airborne nasties. Next time you decide to pick your ear, think about how you’ll be handling your sandwich.
3) The air you breathe – our eyes are incapable of distinguishing anything smaller then 100th mm. Yet most disagreeable agents of disease are smaller. You'll be horrified at what roams the airwaves my friends; there’s squirmy larvae with wriggly bottoms, hairy ticks with huge proboscis and a 'pick a mix' variety of dollops of dung. Next time you open your mouth, try breathing through a filter.
4) Food – you think food is clean? Think again. That chicken breast you enjoyed last night with the tasty zingy zesty sauce was home to a plethora of little nitkins and their by-products. Nutritional information is for food eaten in the sterile environment of a space station. It hardly tells you what you’re ‘actually’ eating here on planet earth.
5) Popcorn – next time you share popcorn with someone. Think about where they’re fingers had been before they were rummaging through that sticky toffee yummy ness.
6) Airport Departure lounges – obviously!
7) Mouths – next time you smooch your loved one…ask yourself how much you ‘really’ love them.
8) Pens – next time you borrow a pen from a colleague…ask them to show you their dental records first.
9) Restaurants – it’s a well known and well documented fact that you are 100 times more likely to die of food poisoning in your local ‘house of India’ curry house then at home. Next time you order that Chicken Tikka Masala, ask yourself how much your dying for it.
10) Remote controls - the surface layer of bacterial crust and dead skin cells is so ingrained that it can only be removed with a blast furnace. Next time your dying to change the channel, do some knitting instead...
