It was valentines evening in LondonTown. The night was young with that lovely blue sky that remains after the sun has set. The pigeons in Trafalgar Square were coo-cooing. Everywhere you looked love was in the air. Lovers embraced on park benches and kissed openly on the Underground. They hugged on buses and ordered pizza and romance DVD's for a night-in. Some looked into each other’s eyes across restaurant tables and some had big arguments and promised never to see each other again!
Mr Nobody and Miss Sunshine also sat across a restaurant table. Their table had a large red rose, two flickering candles and dinner plates decorated with twin hearts entwined. Miss Sunshine was wearing a black sequin dress with a low-neck line. Her sequins were sparkling in the candle-light. She looked positively radiant and she had a smile to die for. How many men would die for that smile? Millions! She was the most beautiful creature in the restaurant.
All the other men (who were also with their girlfriends) were secretly looking at her from the corner of their eyes and wondering who was that lucky guy with her? Bastard! What did he have they didn’t? Well the one thing this lucky man did not have was a sense of style – that’s for sure!
The lucky man was of course Mr Nobody. He was wearing a pink shirt, tie and shiny suit and he looked like he was at a job interview! He had spent 20 minutes in front of the bathroom mirror polishing his teeth – and when he opened his mouth his teeth sparkled almost as much as Miss Sunshine’s necklace!
Mr Nobody and Miss Sunshine also sat across a restaurant table. Their table had a large red rose, two flickering candles and dinner plates decorated with twin hearts entwined. Miss Sunshine was wearing a black sequin dress with a low-neck line. Her sequins were sparkling in the candle-light. She looked positively radiant and she had a smile to die for. How many men would die for that smile? Millions! She was the most beautiful creature in the restaurant.
All the other men (who were also with their girlfriends) were secretly looking at her from the corner of their eyes and wondering who was that lucky guy with her? Bastard! What did he have they didn’t? Well the one thing this lucky man did not have was a sense of style – that’s for sure!
The lucky man was of course Mr Nobody. He was wearing a pink shirt, tie and shiny suit and he looked like he was at a job interview! He had spent 20 minutes in front of the bathroom mirror polishing his teeth – and when he opened his mouth his teeth sparkled almost as much as Miss Sunshine’s necklace!
Mr Nobody was also a little nervous – he was sweating very badly – the sweat was pouring down his face and into his soup making ‘plop! plop!’ sounds as it did so. With every spoon of soup he ate, more sweat would go into the soup. In the end he was left with a bowl of sweat and not much soup. Miss Sunshine found this very funny and couldn't stop laughing. The thing is Mr Nobody had not been on a date with a girl since a long time ago. In fact the last time he took a girl out was when he was in seventh grade of school when he took his classmate Alice to the sweetshop for some cola bottles and strawberry bonbons...
Mr Nobody had read somewhere (book title: Romance For Dummies) that the first thing a man should do on a date is to tell the women how beautiful she looks. So that's exactly what Mr Nobody did.
This is how the conversation went in the restaurant:
[Mr Nobody]
‘Oh lady lady burning bright
On this valentines night
What talented artist of taste
Drew your beautiful face?’
[Miss Sunshine]
‘Mm! What are those strange words you speak? You weird Mr Freaky!’
[Mr Nobody]
‘I have travelled among unknown men
in lands beyond the sea
No heaven did I know till when
My eyes first cast upon thee’
[Miss Sunshine]
‘I must admit you are rather odd!’
[Mr Nobody]
‘The odder I am the more you see
See my tearful eyes, swimming in infinity?’
[Miss Sunshine]
Miss Sunshine stared into Mr Nobody’s eyes. They were as deep as the ocean and as lonely as the depths - for a moment she thought she might drown in them. She quickly swam back to the surface:
‘Woh! Your eyes do speak – but your tongue speaks in poetry! Please stop speaking like that Sir Poet. It is so annoying!’
[Mr Nobody]
‘Forgive me for I never caused to annoy
hear my heart it cries, for a scrap of joy!'
Miss Sunshine stared into Mr Nobody’s eyes. They were as deep as the ocean and as lonely as the depths - for a moment she thought she might drown in them. She quickly swam back to the surface:
‘Woh! Your eyes do speak – but your tongue speaks in poetry! Please stop speaking like that Sir Poet. It is so annoying!’
[Mr Nobody]
‘Forgive me for I never caused to annoy
hear my heart it cries, for a scrap of joy!'
[Miss Sunshine]
‘You are crazy. Do you know that!?’
[Mr Nobody]
‘The stars and heavens are in a twist
my lonely heart wrapped in a kiss
beyond the shores of pirate lands
I stole your kiss with sleight of hand
where did it go? Where lay hidden that kiss?
Why not on my cheeks, little Miss?’
[Miss Sunshine]
Miss Sunshine found the poetry provocative. She didn’t understand all of it – but it was having a profound effect on her…it was making her skin all tingly! She found herself being drawn to Mr Nobody. There was something about him. Maybe he was from a different planet?! Maybe he would take her to his world - wherever his world was! He wasn't bad looking either. OK, OK he had a terrible dress sense and he wore too much perfume and he never smiled and he sweated a lot but he was funny - he made her laugh.
And then Miss Sunshine had an urge, a desire. She leaned forward as if to kiss Mr Nobody but he moved back and retreated into his chair. She was surprised by this. He had asked for a kiss and when she offered it, he refused! What a strange man!
[Mr Nobody]
‘A mortal kiss from lip to lip
I fear my love will chain me to this’
‘You are crazy. Do you know that!?’
[Mr Nobody]
‘The stars and heavens are in a twist
my lonely heart wrapped in a kiss
beyond the shores of pirate lands
I stole your kiss with sleight of hand
where did it go? Where lay hidden that kiss?
Why not on my cheeks, little Miss?’
[Miss Sunshine]
Miss Sunshine found the poetry provocative. She didn’t understand all of it – but it was having a profound effect on her…it was making her skin all tingly! She found herself being drawn to Mr Nobody. There was something about him. Maybe he was from a different planet?! Maybe he would take her to his world - wherever his world was! He wasn't bad looking either. OK, OK he had a terrible dress sense and he wore too much perfume and he never smiled and he sweated a lot but he was funny - he made her laugh.
And then Miss Sunshine had an urge, a desire. She leaned forward as if to kiss Mr Nobody but he moved back and retreated into his chair. She was surprised by this. He had asked for a kiss and when she offered it, he refused! What a strange man!
[Mr Nobody]
‘A mortal kiss from lip to lip
I fear my love will chain me to this’
[Miss Sunshine]
‘What do you mean ‘chain you'? Is my kiss nothing but a prison chain?’
[Mr Nobody]
‘Yes, the bird that soars mighty and free
high and brilliant that is me
above the clouds and beyond the oceans
there I rest free of love, and such silly notions’
‘What do you mean ‘chain you'? Is my kiss nothing but a prison chain?’
[Mr Nobody]
‘Yes, the bird that soars mighty and free
high and brilliant that is me
above the clouds and beyond the oceans
there I rest free of love, and such silly notions’
[Miss Sunshine]
‘You want to be free of love? You selfish monster! You think love is a prison? I offer you a kiss and you throw it back in my face like a dirty dishcloth!’
[Mr Nobody]
‘It is not your love that I fear
but the metal chains do you hear?
They come in the night to drag me away
strong I must be and in love’s nest – not stay’
‘You want to be free of love? You selfish monster! You think love is a prison? I offer you a kiss and you throw it back in my face like a dirty dishcloth!’
[Mr Nobody]
‘It is not your love that I fear
but the metal chains do you hear?
They come in the night to drag me away
strong I must be and in love’s nest – not stay’
[Miss Sunshine]
In anger she threw her drink in Mr Nobody’s face. She then got up and stormed off to the ladies bathroom to calm down. On the way she huffed and puffed: ‘Who does he think he is! I offer him a kiss and he say’s no! And why can’t he speak like normal people? And that pink shirt! And that bloody tie! Idiot! Ugh!’
[Mr Nobody]
(While she is was in the ladies Mr Nobody had time to think – and time to wipe his face!)
‘A fiery temper and fiery heart
go hand-in-hand what a blast!
I have hurt Miss Sunshine and many things more
better catch her heart when it falls
I must escape this bad situation
rescue this date from certain destruction
Win her back, I must plan it
with gentle words, yes I can do it!
OK, here she comes from the ladies - she is done
Time for Mr Nobody, to wave his magic wand!
Miss Sunshine arrived back from the ladies and calmly sat down on her seat. She had been crying but had regained her composure and powdered her cheeks.
[Mr Nobody]
Grabbing hold of Miss Sunshine’s hand and placing it next to his heart he said:
‘Listen, listen - my darling do you hear?
My heart is beating fast – hear! hear!
Like a drum beat it goes thus:
Da-dum, Da-dum, Dada-dum!’
[Miss Sunshine]
‘Yes I can hear it. So you do have a heart! So what? What else do you have besides a heart? A heart is not enough!’
[Mr Nobody]
He put her hand on his head and said:
‘Feel my head, see how large?
Home to a brain, so vast
My brain so big and capable
Of solving puzzles and 12 Times tables!’
[Miss Sunshine]
‘Ok, so you have a HEART and you have a BRAIN. So what?’
[Mr Nobody]
He placed her hand on his arm:
‘Feel my muscles, see how big
Strong arms to open, any bottle or lid
of strawberry jam or tomato ketchup
These muscles can do anything - you betcha!’
[Miss Sunshine]
‘Ok, so you have a HEART and a BRAIN and strong MUSCLES. So what?’
[Mr Nobody]
He put her hand on his chest:
‘Feel my breathing, feel my lungs
Like an Olympic athlete, I can run
100 metres in 10 seconds; I can do it
Faster than a cheetah, faster than a bullet!’
[Miss Sunshine] (Still not impressed)
Ok, so you have a HEART and a BRAIN and MUSCLES and LUNGS. So what? Is that all!
[Mr Nobody]
Mr Nobody finally placed her hand over his mouth:
‘Feel these lips, feel my mouth
They can do magic – without a doubt
Feel my lips stretch into a smile
10 metres high, and as wide as a mile!
(Suddenly Miss Sunshine could feel his smile from behind her hand. He was smiling. Amazing!)
And my lips can do something else – not only smile
Watch out! here comes a kiss, planted with style……Moowah!’
In anger she threw her drink in Mr Nobody’s face. She then got up and stormed off to the ladies bathroom to calm down. On the way she huffed and puffed: ‘Who does he think he is! I offer him a kiss and he say’s no! And why can’t he speak like normal people? And that pink shirt! And that bloody tie! Idiot! Ugh!’
[Mr Nobody]
(While she is was in the ladies Mr Nobody had time to think – and time to wipe his face!)
‘A fiery temper and fiery heart
go hand-in-hand what a blast!
I have hurt Miss Sunshine and many things more
better catch her heart when it falls
I must escape this bad situation
rescue this date from certain destruction
Win her back, I must plan it
with gentle words, yes I can do it!
OK, here she comes from the ladies - she is done
Time for Mr Nobody, to wave his magic wand!
Miss Sunshine arrived back from the ladies and calmly sat down on her seat. She had been crying but had regained her composure and powdered her cheeks.
[Mr Nobody]
Grabbing hold of Miss Sunshine’s hand and placing it next to his heart he said:
‘Listen, listen - my darling do you hear?
My heart is beating fast – hear! hear!
Like a drum beat it goes thus:
Da-dum, Da-dum, Dada-dum!’
[Miss Sunshine]
‘Yes I can hear it. So you do have a heart! So what? What else do you have besides a heart? A heart is not enough!’
[Mr Nobody]
He put her hand on his head and said:
‘Feel my head, see how large?
Home to a brain, so vast
My brain so big and capable
Of solving puzzles and 12 Times tables!’
[Miss Sunshine]
‘Ok, so you have a HEART and you have a BRAIN. So what?’
[Mr Nobody]
He placed her hand on his arm:
‘Feel my muscles, see how big
Strong arms to open, any bottle or lid
of strawberry jam or tomato ketchup
These muscles can do anything - you betcha!’
[Miss Sunshine]
‘Ok, so you have a HEART and a BRAIN and strong MUSCLES. So what?’
[Mr Nobody]
He put her hand on his chest:
‘Feel my breathing, feel my lungs
Like an Olympic athlete, I can run
100 metres in 10 seconds; I can do it
Faster than a cheetah, faster than a bullet!’
[Miss Sunshine] (Still not impressed)
Ok, so you have a HEART and a BRAIN and MUSCLES and LUNGS. So what? Is that all!
[Mr Nobody]
Mr Nobody finally placed her hand over his mouth:
‘Feel these lips, feel my mouth
They can do magic – without a doubt
Feel my lips stretch into a smile
10 metres high, and as wide as a mile!
(Suddenly Miss Sunshine could feel his smile from behind her hand. He was smiling. Amazing!)
And my lips can do something else – not only smile
Watch out! here comes a kiss, planted with style……Moowah!’
...And so it was that Mr Nobody finally kissed Miss Sunshine…
And then?
And then the stars sang
The rainbow smiled
The moon shone
The sun rose
The comet blazed
And the clouds?
The clouds were nowhere to be seen.
-THE END-
