Fellow Knobs, the following message was received yesterday at 08:14 GMT from the 'Arecibo Radio Telescope' engaged in the NASA SETI (search for extra-terrestrial intelligence) programme in the rainforests of Puerto Rico:
...Message Starts
"Knobs of earth!...your attention please. This is Supreme Knob 'K3' of the 'Galactic Knob Council' head-quartered in the Andromeda Galaxy. Our agents have been monitoring band-width from your insignificant little green planet and have intercepted certain communications regarding a 'chartered knob club' established on a little patch of land on your planet. I believe the little squibble of land is known as 'Grand Cayman' (though what is so grand about it i can't seem to fathom - but i digress)
If this is indeed true then it is of great interest to us. You see it is very rare for 'Knob Awareness' to arise spontaneously on a planet; especially on one as insignificantly unimportant as yours. Usually, the seeds of knob awareness are planted by the Galactic Knob Council's interplanetary 'Education Department' headed by Dr Knobbernator and his theologians. Since, we are not aware of any such education programmes being conducted furtively on your planet; the inescapable conclusion is quite astonishing to say the least:
Knob aware ness has arisen, it seems, on your planet without any seeding or influence from external agents
If this is indeed the case then it will be only the 2nd known spontaneous knob awareness in the history of the Galaxy. The 1st being that historic moment right at the beginning when 'K1' suddenly emerged squinting from a little cave (where he had been holed up for weeks) and immortally proclaimed: 'To be a Knob or not to be a Knob. That is the question. I am a Knob'. The rest is of course history and taught to countless students in our Galactic Knob University here in Andromeda. The cave has incidently been purchased by the Knob Council and been converted into a 'Memorabillia Store' and is also a sight of pilgrimage for the more obstinate and die-hard knobs.
Anyway, SPONTANEOUS knob awareness requires a highly developed intellect and well evolved sense of 'Place' or 'Spatial Awareness' - that is spatial awareness of one's place in evolutionary history and within the greater cosmos.
The Galactic Knob Council would very much like to meet the esteemed members of the Chartered Knob Club of Planet Earth - we are very excited to meet such eminent knobs with such developed Knob-Sense.
In this regard we will be visiting the cultural and intellectual centre of your planet (a city called London) on the 14th Of this month. We will be traveling via 'Hyperspatial Needlecast' and will be convening in the 'Horse and Hound' Public ale house in Islington, North London (E8). Please honour us with your presence. We'll be the slightly odd looking chaps, with flowering garbs and an air of the 'Bohemian' about us. You can’t miss us!"
Supreme Galactic Knob K3
...Message ends
Guys, I will be attending this. Not gonna miss it! Let me know if you can make it. Should be wicked!
Master Knob.
