Re-entry
The space craft slammed through the atmosphere with as much grace as a fat man diving into a swimming pool: a mighty heave-o, a huge splash, plop! and then utter silence. There was no tedious mucking about with atmospherics, angles of entry, rudder control or even contacting flight-control. The radio telescope at Joddrel Bank that was engaged in the SETI programme (search for extra-terrestrial inteligence) was asleep - which was kinda surprising because this was exactly the sort of momentous world changing event it had been looking out for for the last 50 years. The radars at the American Institute for National Airspace Security didn't even blink - which is kinda strange because this was precisely the sort of event they had been set up for. The Institute of Chartered Accountants in England & Wales, were too busy conducting statutory audits and charging excessive fees - which is exactly the sort of thing you would expect them to do. So apart from the Institute of Chartered Accountants, everybody else was not doing their job properly.
The space craft was about 50 feet in length and resembled, to an earth person anyway, a huge hair dryer. It is a well know fact that aerodynamics is a nonce concept in Space - for there being no 'air' in Space for aerodynamics to take a firm foothold. The practical upshot of this being that space craft can take on whatever physical form they like, with only the imagination as limiter. This however does not explain, nor does it justify, why the owner of this particular craft would want it to take the form of a hair dryer. Hair dryers are cool. I mean, I'm all up for hair dryers. I think they're great devices and very useful, but as inspiration for spaceship design? Most space craft are sleek shiny pointy things. They don't actually need to be sleek shiny pointy things, but it is a well known fact that chicks really dig guys in sleek shiny pointy things. So you have a clear evolutionary pressure selecting for this just like the Peacocks plumage for example. The Peacock doesn't actually need an extravagant plumage, but Peacock chicks really dig male Peacocks with huge plumage's, so ergo...
It is clear that the guy in the flying 'hair-dryer' either has grossly undeveloped aesthetic sensibilities or doesn't care what chicks think - which is quite admirable if you ask me. Chicks, (is it alright if I call them chicks?), well chicks hate guys that don't play by the rules; whether deliberately or not. They find them irritating, pompous, arrogant, thorny, annoying, and totally and utterly irresistible. This is the story of one of those guys. Probably the most successful ever at the art of annoying chicks. But not an 'Earth' guy, oh no. Earth guys are too pliant, lovey-dovey, and spineless with sugar-treacle smiles when it comes to chicks. Not this guy though. This is someone who has never before set foot on the Earth - until now. Someone from the constellation of Ursa Minor - 50 million light years away. A guy who works for that fantastic publication 'The Lonely Galaxy' - the ultimate guide for itinerant professional slackers. This is the story of 'Super-Fly 3D Sonic'; who is currently at this moment grappling with his life (like one grapples with a slippery bar of soap) by fighting with the flight controls of his lumbering space craft, to stop it from falling from the sky tonight and crash landing somewhere in the southern deserts of Pakistan...
Love...it shines like a
Burning star
Falling from the sky
Tonight
