Today, it is raining.
In fact it has been raining all week. On a day like this I see the red traffic lights reflected in a puddle of water. There is a wind blowing so the puddle surface ripples - and the red reflection ripples too. The light turns amber and then green and then my gaze turns to the sky. It is a dull, lifeless, grey, overcast and very low sky - stretched taut like opaque cling-film. So low it seems to be ceiling height - if I jump high enough I might even be able to touch it. It seems oppressive. Like a prison cell. In the distance darker clouds approach menacingly. But now and again a shaft of sunlight peeps through a gap in the clouds and the world seems more expansive and less prison-like again. The world looks and feels so different to a week ago when it was bathed in bountiful sunlight and everything was covered in a golden halo.
But I don't feel doom and gloom today. How the weather 'feels' is not an intrinsic property of the weather. It is a property of our human minds. I like it when it is like this - gloomy. Colours are muted - as if someone has turned down the saturation in Photoshop. I see a bright yellow anorak, it stands out amongst the muted colours. As the evening approaches the rain begins to lash down again. First you hear the patter 'tip-tap-tip-tap' - you can distinguish individual 'tip-taps', but then as the rain gets heavier, you here a billion tip-taps of each raindrop all at once and they have now fused into a general background noise - like the TV when it can't pick up any stations.
But I don't feel doom and gloom today. How the weather 'feels' is not an intrinsic property of the weather. It is a property of our human minds. I like it when it is like this - gloomy. Colours are muted - as if someone has turned down the saturation in Photoshop. I see a bright yellow anorak, it stands out amongst the muted colours. As the evening approaches the rain begins to lash down again. First you hear the patter 'tip-tap-tip-tap' - you can distinguish individual 'tip-taps', but then as the rain gets heavier, you here a billion tip-taps of each raindrop all at once and they have now fused into a general background noise - like the TV when it can't pick up any stations.
Vehicles sound different on rainy days. You can hear the tyres gripping the roads, the sound of soft mushy rubber on wet surface. The neon lights of the shops suddenly blink n' burst into existence. The bright red of the 'Perfect Fried Chicken' shop is matched only by the pure white of the bright fluorescent interior. From the outside window I watch the warm glowing charcoal embers of the brazier in the kebab shop, the mutton cubes sizzling away in a haze of smoke. I am tempted to go inside and warm my hands and fill my belly. The promise of warmth in my hands, the smell of barbecued lamb, the taste on my tongue - these are the sensations that drive me into the restaurant where I sit down to be greeted by a small steaming glass of turkish tea with a sugar cube next to it. I stare out of the window joyfully - shielded from the cold, dark and wet world outside - where I'd been standing only a few moments before.
Ahhh, the possibilities of perception are limitless, and clear seeing is joyful!
Creativity is also limitless. Creativity sometimes seems to be an unusual gift that only a few people are blessed with via birth or somehow manage to acquire magically during life, but this is not true. Creativity is accessible to everyone. It naturally springs from your basic nature when you are open to your basic nature. Creativity is something to be uncovered not something to be wished for.
Unfortunately, much of the time, we are cut-off from 'clear seeing'. We get caught up in cascades and torrents of internal dialogue and emotionality. Immersed in thoughts, daydreams, and projections, we fabricate our personal versions of the world and dwell within them like silkworms in cocoons. Instead of appreciating the raindrops on the window, we experience something like: "This weather is nasty. I have to get to work, and I need a new raincoat. I hope it clears up for the weekend". So immersed are we in the quotidian banality of every day existence, that we forget. Forget! Forget that we are alive...
Our culture continually tells us that boredom should be avoided and that we should always be entertained or occupied with something. No one explains why this should be so. What is it about boredom that makes it painful to so many people? Why can't we get into a car without switching on the radio? Why can't we wait for an appointment without reading a magazine? Why can't we relax at home in the evening without switching on the TV? Why do we need to check our emails so frequently? Why do we continuously text our friends? Why do we have to tell everyone what we are doing via Facebook? Why is it that on a beautiful day everybody in the train is either buried in their iPhone or newspapers - and nobody, nobody is looking out of the window?
The basic question is: why can't we relax when we have nothing to do and enjoy a little bit of space in our lives? The problem I think is that we are afraid. Afraid of our own hearts. The heart is so sensitive, so ready to vibrate and resonate with the wider world, but we keep it covered, fearing we won't be able to stand being touched. We might be overwhelmed. We can't afford to open up, because who knows what we might feel. Are we afraid to feel bad and painful things? But in trying to protect our hearts by wrapping it in thick padding we prevent ourselves from engaging with the rich vitality and texture and beauty of the world at large!
You don't need to shield yourself. It is good to expose your heart. By exposing your heart, you begin to make friends with yourself. You become a friend to yourself on a deeper level. You get to know yourself. You get to know 'who' you are and who you are 'not'. Only then can you live a life that is not a lie. Their is no such thing as a 'better' or bigger life. There is only such a thing as the 'right life for you'.
There are many things you can do to 'find yourself'. You don't have to go to Tibet or Nepal or meet the Dalai Lama! You don't have to go very far at all. It's all about letting go of the things that insulate you from your environment. For example: next time you go to your High Street to buy some milk, bread and eggs, ask yourself 'what am I doing during this journey that insulates me from the environment?' Do you wear headphones on the way to the High Street? Well take them off! Are you on the mobile phone? Switch it off! Are you thinking about something to do with work, family or friends? Don't! Are you day-dreaming? Don't! The contemplative mind is free of thinking. It is a mind that is open and fresh and receptive to whatever arises. At first when you do this, when you spend time alone, without contact with the things that stimulate your mind, you might feel uncomfortable, lonely, or bored. That is because many of us are not used to being alone. We are addicted to entertainment and stimulation. This is a great way to unplug yourself! And make friends with yourself.
Solitude is the home of the contemplative mind and the space where creativity flourishes.
There are many things you can do to 'find yourself'. You don't have to go to Tibet or Nepal or meet the Dalai Lama! You don't have to go very far at all. It's all about letting go of the things that insulate you from your environment. For example: next time you go to your High Street to buy some milk, bread and eggs, ask yourself 'what am I doing during this journey that insulates me from the environment?' Do you wear headphones on the way to the High Street? Well take them off! Are you on the mobile phone? Switch it off! Are you thinking about something to do with work, family or friends? Don't! Are you day-dreaming? Don't! The contemplative mind is free of thinking. It is a mind that is open and fresh and receptive to whatever arises. At first when you do this, when you spend time alone, without contact with the things that stimulate your mind, you might feel uncomfortable, lonely, or bored. That is because many of us are not used to being alone. We are addicted to entertainment and stimulation. This is a great way to unplug yourself! And make friends with yourself.
Solitude is the home of the contemplative mind and the space where creativity flourishes.
